Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge – The Best Turtles Beat ‘Em Up Ever Made

This is serious, so give me a quarter.

The energy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, one of the biggest crazes of the ’80s, has endured for 35 years. Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s initially dark comic creations — later given a kid-friendly refashioning — spearheaded Turtlemania: a toxic-waste fusion of martial arts and mutant teen reptiles that swept the globe. Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Donatello, their names cribbed from history’s most fabled Renaissance artists, characterised shirts, shorts, lunch boxes, and of course, video games.

Konami’s 1989 arcade release, a four-player scrolling beat-em-up engineered to bankrupt unwitting parents, was a dream come true for kids tall enough to reach its bulky, shelf-like control panel. It was hardly the fairest of games, but its sound effects, introduction sequence, and “Cowa-Cowa-Cowabunga!” coin-drop jingle have since matured into giddy nostalgia.

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